When I was a child, I used to get angry easily and I used to get disappointed whenever something happened wrong with me. During childhood and till my graduate days, I was having same sort of anger and day by day it was increasing. I used to get angry and after it nervous about why people behave this way with me and after this anger, I used to get nervous. My father used to tell me since my childhood days to control this anger, but it did not happened with me to have a control on my anger. Days passed and when I came first time in Mumbai, living alone in paying guest accommodation, it started changes in my life. Gradually, after this, till now, I tried to narrow down my anger and still I am trying to deal with people. Everyone in life might have a similar story but what we miss out is not having thought of the process by which people behave in situations and in the same way we don’t think by putting ourselves in their shoes.
Therefore, dealing with people remains a challenging task for everyone in the world. Before dealing with people, we need to understand that dealing with people is actually a form of communication. Communication is the scientific process wherein sender sends a message in the form of some language or audio sounds or expressions and receiver receives it. However, the language of communication or transmission of this message should be same as that of sender’s language. Hence, we need to understand psychological aspects of how people behave in real life situations.
The most important philosophy of dealing with people is “Try sincerely to see things from the other person’s point of view”. Although it is a common statement, it is very difficult for many people.
Generally speaking, what people want in life is health, food, sleep, money, things that you can buy from money, peaceful life, sexual excitement and satisfaction, well-being of children (if you have), and getting importance from someone.
Many people, feel nervous when they were unable to achieve importance from someone else in that is close to in their life. Saurabh, age 20, was a guy who got into relationship with a girl Saumya, age 20. This relationship lasted for more than a year and soon after 1 year, when they passed out from Degree College; the priorities of both of them were changed. Saurabh wanted to become MBA whereas, Saumya wanted to do MTech. Both of them after admissions of these courses were living in same city. However, suddenly after few months, both of them were having quarrels in their relationship as Saurabh has to deal with many people as he was doing MBA. He has to visit many offices, and visit different locations in order to complete project assignments of MBA course. Saumya’s coursework was not having such things, so she became lonely and she was then difficult to deal with Saurabh.
This situation might be similar to your story in life. These misunderstandings do happen, because we do not consider situation of others.
Appreciate ! Appreciate ! Appreciate ! Appreciation is the key to human relations. While you are dealing with people, appreciation of their qualities is the key to turn their mind towards you. This is worth proving strategy to win mind of person in front of you. However, remember, appreciation is totally different from flattery (excessive and insincere praise). Sincere appreciation is powerful tool in dealing with people. Difference between appreciation and flattery is simple. First one is sincere and other is not. First one is from heart and another is just from mouth. Remember, flattery in long run will harm more than it has given benefits to you.
For example, even small appreciation to your home maid or peon in office makes them work loyally and effectively for you.
Learn superior qualities from other individuals. Every man is unique creation of god. He or she is having some qualities that are more superior to you. Therefore, learning good qualities which also includes inculcating good habits will benefit you.
Stop making excuses. Giving reasons (most of them were not genuine) hamper human relationships.
While you are dealing with entirely new person, it is better to check about it from social media, or professional colleagues indirectly (of course) so you can have good conversation on the table. Have a “prep talk” before meeting. Key to successful meeting will be reflected from first hand shake and the last smile you give to that person.
To help readers, I will provide you key points of successful dealing with people:
Understand others. Appreciate Learn from other’s qualities. Have a background check. Frame a prep talk & Confidence.
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