Etiquette (/ˈɛtɪˌkɛt/ or /ˈɛtɪkɪt/, French: [e.ti.kɛt]) is the way of behavior which describes social behavior as per current living practices according to conventions of society, social group or class. Manners is just alternate word for it.
Although references of word etiquette were found since around 15th century, but it has its relevance found in traditional Hindu Indian literature like Bhagvad Geeta, Bhagwat and Guru Charitra, etc.
Term of etiquette was searched on Google Trends and it was found that use of it is declining since 2004 to till date.
Famous author and trainer, Dale Carnegie has explored different types of etiquette and has set some ground rules for following them. In this article, we will have brief overview of them along with some new age etiquette.
Conversational Etiquette
Just like any other personal conversation, any conversation must be healthy and fruitful. However, for initiating any conversation you should have to become talkative and initiator of conversation. Not only this is needed, but also listening other person carefully is equally important. If you are asked question, you have to be ready with answer within one minute. Reason for this is keeping flow of conversation. Being attentive is of high importance in case of telephonic conversations. When you are not talking, make sure other person is speaking and finishing his / her thoughts before you speak next.
Respecting everyone equally is necessary while engaging you in conversation. This shows visibility of your sincerity. Talking using this methodology will help you to get key business contact as this person can redirect your call to concerned authority.
While dealing with irate client or manager, be proactive and problem solver. Consider their issue and offer some solutions in calm manner. Don’t use bad language to make a point. It will destroy your credibility and make you look childish. Sudden call during meeting or in cafeteria can irritate people and it will increase their temperament if you are talking loudly. Even loud ring tone of cell phone can be annoying. Cell phone talks can be reduced by having caller ID app such as true caller to avoid spam calls. Don’t answer calls in meeting and speak quietly if you really wish to take a call. Don’t make your phone visible on a desk or lunch table.
Listening Carefully
For greatest good, patient and careful listening is essential. In job setting, if you are babbling continuously, then your voice might not be heard seriously by management of the company. However, if you are silent and listen carefully, then your own words will count for more by coming through louder and clear.
In person conversations require appropriate body language, eye contact and head nodding in response to what other person is saying. Try to give brief remarks in between and show an appreciation and understanding. During conversations, when other person has not more to say, you can promote it by asking open ended questions.
Mistakes of conversational etiquette
During conversation, many such blunders can occur if you talk on inappropriate topics such as office gossips, politics, religions, and interrupting and raising your voice. You may feel targeted if a boss or client is angry with you, but you will make it worse by interrupting and raising your voice. Shouting and interrupting are not suitable with coworkers either.
Money etiquette
M vitamin (money) is most important to mankind all the times. Whenever your coworkers are collecting money for the gift of someone to whom you really don’t know, then there is no need to collect contribution even if you are in senior position. Rule of seniority also should not be applied whenever you are collecting contribution for team lunch or dinner or any birthday occasions. Everyone should contribute equally.
Many times your child has been told to collect charity donations from society and you sponsor all the amount of it. I personally feel, children should not consider you as their ATM or debit card. However, ask them to collect from society or else send them as it is to their school.
Phone etiquette
It is found that more business is lost because of poor phone communication than any other reason. Telephone is very essential medium of communication. When you are talking on the phone, you do not have any idea of what other person is doing. Hence, conversation carries immense importance.
Rule of thumb will be returning calls that you missed within 24 hours. This is important especially for students, job seekers and of course businessmen.
If you are busy at time whenever anyone calls you, leave voice message or send them text message that you are busy. Whenever, you call someone and is picked up by receptionist or secretary, identify yourself and clarify nature of your call. This will provide that person to redirect you to concerned department.
Every time you answer a call, be polite, respectful and show enthusiasm during the conversation.
Many times we get calls from telemarketers to sell something, you can indicate politely that you are not interested and hang up the call. After all, they are also human being and have been paid to do that job. Caution to be exercised here is you can get a long distance call or overseas call for job or business. Be sure you know nature of the call before you hang up the call.
Key message here is don’t be interruptive, and rude; be polite and respectful to others.
Restaurant Etiquette
Going to parties like team lunch or dinner, friend get together is most common now days. These involve free drinks even. Remember, although alcohol is attraction here, but occasional consumption eventually leads to habit of it and leads to diseases like liver cirrhosis, impotence and also social and emotional disturbances.
If you are giving party to friends or colleagues, make sure you send them message that you are hosting a dinner / lunch and would like them as your guests. A written note or message will say right message that you are giving treat.
However, when you are going out with friends or colleagues, make sure to split bills equally. Now days, government has launched BHIM app which will transfer money to anyone with UPI code within seconds.
If you have cash crunch on the day of party and feel that you should not go there, send them message that you have lack of cash this month and clear with everyone about splitting of bill if you decided to go. Spending much using credit card when you are having cash flow in your account will be good sometimes but habit of it will make you poor.
When you have ladies in the group, they should be allowed to sit first as per their choice in restaurant. After they sit, man should sit. Similarly, woman should order first, if they don’t know about it, man should help them out in choosing the same.
Again rule of thumb here is making cell phone on silent or vibrate mode as we do in movies, plays and concerts.
Social Media Etiquettes (Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin, etc.)
This is most significant type of etiquette needed now days. Dale Carnegie has definitely not detailed about this as such media was not there at his times.
Whenever I searched for the keywords on Google Trends, results were surprising. Till this date, facebook etiquette word was searched only across France, Australia and USA. Whereas, e-mail etiquette word ranking shows, Namibia at the top and India in fourth position.
Certain ground rules that are necessary here. First and most important is completeness of your social media profile. Don’t approach to strangers and don’t annoy them with messages. Don’t send requests for games, birthday invitations or other timewasters to all. Don’t put anything annoying with your colleagues, boss or company you work with. Check out people that you want to follow or want to be your friend. If someone does not want to be your friend, accept decision gracefully. Never ever tag all of your friends un-necessarily. Compose your posts, updates or tweets in a word processing document so you can check grammar and spelling before you send them.
Conclusion
Ultimately it is all about managing people. Whatever activities you do, don’t differentiate people as per position or standing in organization or society. Reach destination or place 10 to 15 minutes before and interact with people near you. You can also have a cup of Tea or Coffee and introduce yourself to others. Talk a little about yourself and listen others carefully. Try to remember everything and use the information thoughtfully. Send letters or emails or cards on birthdays or occasions for congratulating them; send flowers on engagements and weddings, or condolence for death of loved ones or family member. Although we say society has short memory and forget everything, it’s not true. People remember your behavior, whether kind or rude, much longer than you expect!
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